Broken
by harryginnylovers
Summary: This story takes place after the fifth book. Harry returns to the Dursley Residence who are very unimpressed at being threatened. Harry begins training for the fight of and for his life. Harry/Ginny. MA see chap 1 for warning. over 5000 hits YIPPEE
1. Chapter One Punishment

Please let this be mine… Please let this be mine…. Please let this be mine… did it work? Well according to my bank it didn't so I suppose it was just wishful thinking. We all know who Harry potter belongs to and we all wish it was us, but it isn't. Nor do we get any money for this, it's done because we are obsessed, bored shitless and can't control our own lives so therefore feel the need to control someone else's. Have fun and as always review. I'm writing this because I couldn't find a story with all my ships. I am a uni student who is studying nursing so if I don't post at least weekly, please be patient it depends on my assignments and what exams I have but I'll try to warn you about those. And to save you from having to read my "it's not mine, it's hers" statement all the time I'll let this one cover it cos it's long and been stated twice now and if any one feels the sudden urge to sue me, good luck with that _uni student_ _no money _so save your breath and your time! If any one recognises any thing chances are its not mine. I've read so many Harry Potter fics now that I've probably taken something (by accident) I normally read about one fic a week (novel length) and have done so for the last two years, so it's a lot of stuff I've taken in folks. I sincerely apologise if I have taken something of yours, as I won't have meant to, (unless I credit you).

So I'll sign off now and get on with my story. Oh yeah, one more thing: eKisses for those people who review! The more reviews I have the faster I'll be compelled to update  ALSO: I don't have a beta. If any one wants to fill that role leave me a note in a review.

WARNING:

This fic takes place after my puppy (Sirius) dies so it features a torn up Harry who then gets to go back "home" and puts up with what can very loosely be described as his "family". Harry gets abused (physically, verbally and sexually) and indulges in self-harm as well as a suicide attempt. Folks its dark at the start and I don't bullshit or beat around the bush. (Yes I'm an Aussie!!) There will also be quite a bit of language. Also every thing is spelt Aussie, like mum rather than mom if you don't like it, too bad!

**My Ships are as follows:**

Harry/Ginny

Remus/Tonks

Ron/Hermione

There will be more, however to state them here gives away something farrrrrrr too big. Sorry no bones for the little puppy. 

_**Chapter One – Punishment **_

Harry climbed into his uncle's car at the train station not feeling any emotion at all. If Harry had to describe what he felt, he would tell you that he felt dead. And that he wished he were dead. Did Dumbledore not understand that he had not moved for a reason when Voldemort tried to kill him? Damn it he had even begged for death, but did Dumbledore pay any attention to his wish, no instead he just gave him extra reason to wish that he had died. Fifteen-year-old (soon to be sixteen thank you very much!) Harry Potter had the world placed firmly on his shoulders.

The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies... And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not... And either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives... the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies._ Stop thinking about that!!_

"What's wrong Potty? Cry baby, Cry baby. Did you just realise that no one loves you?" Dudley sneered.

Harry wiped his cheeks, removing the tears he had not realised were there. He opened his door even before the car fully stopped grabbed his trunk out of the boot and waited for his Aunt to open the front door of number four privet drive. He immediately went to his room and changed into a pair of grey sweat pants and a loose black jumper. He reached into his trunk and pulled out a piece of broken mirror and pocketed it before walking back out the front door.

The grey sky was steadily growing darker; tonight there would be one hell of a storm. It began to gently rain but it soon gave way to a sting your skin, hurt your eyes downpour. Harry sat under a tree and leant his back against the wet bark watching as lightning flickered across the skies, the rain that continued to fall washed away the tears that ran down his face. He took a deep breath and pulled the broken mirror from his pocket. He pushed up the sleeves of his jumper and placed the ragged edge against the pale skin of his wrist and pressed down watching as the rain cleared away the blood. He continued cutting lines up both his arms and pressed deeper with each cut. He stared at his arms, there were about fifteen lines on each arm one for every year of misery he had lived on each arm. He brought the sleeves of his jumper down and pocketed the glass again.

He looked at his watch and noticed it was eleven o'clock. Mildly surprised at how late it was he stood up slowly feeling slightly dizzy and stretched his cramped muscles before walking home slowly. He paused halfway home when he began to wonder who was on Potter duty before swearing furiously when he realised that who ever was watching had likely seen that and would report it to the old meddling fool. He shook his head "nothing I can do about it now." He mumbled out aloud and continued to walk home.

Charlie Weasley held Nymphadora Tonks as she sobbed silently. They were under strict orders not to show themselves to Harry for any reason, unless of course Deatheaters showed up. They could do nothing but watch as the young man they both admired turned his emotional pain into something more physical. They could only hope he would come out of this without too much harm.

"Should we tell Dumbledore?"

"No, I don't think so Tonks. I don't think Harry would willingly talk to him any way. Ron told me that there is a lot of tension between Harry and Dumbledore at the moment, we should tell Remus and Bill though when they come on duty next. We'll have to tell them not to tell Dumbledore and I think it should stay between the four of us." Charlie sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "And I think this is one of Dumbledore's orders that can go straight down the drain. The last thing Harry needs right now is to be left alone to his thoughts with no company except those bloody relatives of his."

"Charlie? Some of those looked deep enough to cause some damage. He lost enough blood right now that he should be in some serious trouble."

"I know Tonks, I know. It looks like his magic is preventing him from causing too much harm to himself. I think its only doing so because he only wants to feel the pain rather than kill himself. Madam Pomfrey has said before that he heals amazingly fast, has an extremely high threshold for pain and has never been to the hospital wing sick. So maybe he is more powerful than we think."

"I hope so. I really do, for his sake."

Harry quietly opened the front door and snuck through hoping that his relatives were all in bed. He walked into the kitchen and pulled out a slice of bread from the packet.

"No one told you that you could take that you little thief. Throw it in the bin now!"

"Yes Uncle Vernon." Harry sighed and tossed it in the bin. A second later a meaty fist connected with his face and Harry found himself unable to move as another wave of dizziness hit him.

"That's for leaving without asking permission." He snarled and hit Harry again with enough force that it spun him around and knocking him to the ground so that he lay on his stomach "that's for coming home late." Harry heard the sound of a zip before he was yanked to his knees and held there too weak and shocked to move though he knew what was surely going to happen. He was proven correct and he cried out when his Uncle entered him roughly and pounded into him with such force that he felt he would split in half from the pain.

"And…this…is…for…ruining…our lives…you…FREAK!" Harry felt his Uncle explode into him before withdrawing just as roughly and snarled, "Get to your room and stay there until I tell you, you can come out"

Not having the strength to stand Harry pulled up his pants and said, "Yes Uncle Vernon." Before crawling up to his room. Once there he lay on the floor too sore to move any more and passed out.

_A/N: this is a good place to stop I think. I know that Harry is actually fairly strong and would have normally fought to the death to stop his Uncle or at least run, but a) he's depressed and on some level believes he deserves it for Sirius' death. B) He just cut himself and it was stated that he lost a lot of blood so he is physically weak. Also I would like to make something clear and will state it later in the story for those who don't read A/Ns : Tonks&Remus __not__ Tonks&Charlie. Dumbledore knows that they are likely to become more than friends and for safety sake, does not partner up couples_.


	2. Chapter Two – Grimmauld Place

_**Chapter Two – Grimmauld Place**_

Bill Weasley sat in the garden covered by an invisibility cloak. He continued watching Harry's window hoping that there would be a sign of habitation from the room after what Tonks and his brother told them this morning when they came on duty, Bill shook his head, he was more worried then ever. It was lunchtime and so far there had been no signs of life coming from Harry's room. When there was none, he turned to where he knew Remus Lupin was and said quietly "I'm going in. Levitate me through the window."

"Okay, be careful though, if he's in there he'll have his wand at you before you feet even hit the ground. _Wingardium Leviosa!_"

Bill gasped as he landed on the floor and rushed over to Harry who still lay in a pile on the floor with blood pooled between his legs and under his wrists, after making sure Harry still had a pulse, he ran over to the window

"Remus, get up here now!" he called out.

He ran back over to Harry and gently shook his shoulders "Harry, mate can you hear me?" he shook firmer when he got no response and pulled out his wand, "_Evenerate_!" he cried just as Remus threw the door open he let out a sob as he saw Harry dazedly opening his eyes.

"Bill? What are you doing here?"

"Looking after my little brother. Look what those bastards did to you! And what you've done to your self. I'm going to get you out of here now. Remus can you get his stuff?" Remus nodded and wiped the tears that rested on his cheeks before waving his wand. The very few items Harry had lying around were soon packed and Hedwig's cage sat on the trunk.

"Harry…were you raped?" Remus asked putting a hand on the young mans trembling shoulder.

Harry sobbed and bit his lip hard before turning his face away and nodding.

"Who?" when Harry refused to answer Remus asked "Vernon?" Harry nodded.

Bill looked Harry over and asked, "Can you walk?" Harry tried to raise himself up on one arm but curled instantly into a ball at the pain that shot through him.

"No." He whimpered which increased when Bill gently picked him up. "Hey Bill?"

"Yes Harry?" Bill enquired though he thought he knew what Harry was going to say.

"Don't tell any one. Please Bill, please, promise me?" Bill doubted that Harry had begged to any one before and nodded, feeling completely disconsolate as he looked at the broken teen that he considered to be another brother.

"I promise. Harry, I promise. But we need to get madam Pomfrey to check you; you've lost a lot of blood. He must have been rough for you to bleed that much, I wouldn't have thought it possible."

"Okay, don't let her tell Dumbledore or any one else!"

Remus walked over to Harry's trunk and pulled out a set of clean clothes. He laid them out as Bill carefully helped Harry get changed out of the damp, muddy and bloody clothing.

They wrapped Harry in a blanket and Bill gently picked him up a second time. Remus pulled out a Portkey and quietly told Harry to grip it.

They arrived at Grimmauld place in the dining room where everyone was eating lunch. A thud was heard as Charlie jumped out of his chair causing the chair to hit the ground.

"Bill!" Harry heard Charlie's shocked voice and flinched in closer to Bill, "is that…" Bill nodded.

"Mr Weasley what part of _no_ contact did you not understand?" Dumbledore asked softly.

Bill turned and snarled at his old headmaster "shut up you old fucking idiot!" he glared at the headmaster and ignored the many startled gasps "Make yourself useful and fetch madam Pomfrey, I can't believe you made him go back to those muggles, un-fucking-believable!" he walked out and was followed by Remus, Tonks and Charlie. Remus stopped at the door and said quietly, "apart from Tonks, Charlie, Bill and I, only madam Pomfrey can come in the room with Harry." He turned and looked at Dumbledore, eyes flashing amber "he specifically asked for you not to be involved. And I for one am going to honour his wishes. I don't know what you said to him, but for as long as I live, you won't go near him without Bill, Charlie, Tonks or myself there with him unless he requests otherwise." When he finished he ran up the stairs after Harry.

He opened the door to Harry's room to find Harry hanging in to Bill for dear life. Bill was trying to coax him off.

"Harry, can you tell us all what happened. From the time we left you to when we found you? I've told every one else that only madam Pomfrey and us four can come near you until your ready. They won't tell any one else but it will make it easier for you if you have all of us to talk to if you want to. Also one of us will always be with you, but we'll all try to all stay with you. We all fought for you to stay with one of us where we live and we'll continue to do so. If all else fails, we'll simply tell Dumbledore to take a hike." Remus said.

"Okay, but guys, this is it. No one else can know. And thanks for fighting for me." He said so quietly they all had to strain to hear him.

"Except for madam Pomfrey." Bill reminded him gently

Harry rolled his eyes tiredly and yawned "sure" his grip on Bill relaxed slightly.

"Harry?"

"Hmmm?"

"Can I put you on the bed? Madam Pomfrey's here. You need to tell us what happened now."

Harry let go of Bill, surprised that he had felt the need to cling to him like he had. He was lowered onto the bed in a sitting position with lots of pillows behind his back for him to lean on. In a voice devoid of emotion he began. "The ride home was fine, Dudley taunted me as usual but that's certainly nothing… um are you sure no one else can hear?" he waited for Bill and Charlie to check and secure the room before continuing. "I got there, took my stuff up to my room and went for a walk to the park, there was a storm and I just sat there in the rain then walked-"

"Harry, Charlie and I saw you cutting yourself at the park, it looked pretty bad from where we were standing." Tonks interjected when it became clear he was going to by pass it.

Harry nodded "when I got home I took a piece of bread because I had missed dinner while I was out. Uncle Vernon caught me. He- h-he punched me twice, one for not asking if I could leave and the second for coming home so late. The second punch knocked me to the ground and…" Harry stopped and shook his head franticly, whimpering at the memory of it. "He hit me so hard I spun around and landed on my stomach, I couldn't stop him, and I felt so weak, so powerless. He pulled me onto my knees and…" he stopped again still shaking his head as though trying to deny that it had happened. He began scrabbling at his very tender wrists that began to bleed again. Bill took his hands and held them in his own. "It hurt so much, like I was being torn from the inside out, I feel so dirty, like I'll never be clean again." He cried, ashamed that he, the Boy-That-Lived, could be used in such a manor. If his Uncle could do this to him, he dreaded finding out what Voldemort could do to him. He sobbed profound, soul wrenching sobs that conveyed the depth of his pain. Every one had tears on there cheeks as they listened to him cry. Something none of them had ever seen him do. Bill held his hands and stroked his face as madam Pomfrey did a physical examination and healed him.

"Harry, this is a dreamless sleep potion drink all of it for me." Madam Pomfrey handed him the vial and he drank it. "Have you had any thing to eat since you got off the train?" She asked before sleep claimed him and he shook his head and quickly fell into a deep slumber. She turned to the other four occupants of the room. "Nothing that was said in this room is to leave it. Professor Dumbledore is not to be told either. Make sure some one is with him all the time, but keep it to you four, as he obviously trusts you. When he wakes up, get him to try eating some soup. He prefers pumpkin. Give him these potions after he eats something. They'll finish repairing the internal damage his Uncle caused him." With that she leaned over and placed a kiss on Harry's forehead. "Well, I do believe this is a record even for you Harry, I hope the rest of your summer improves."

_A/N.:. Read and review. I know I've made madam Pomfrey seem like a softy. But you would be too if you saw that. Just wait till next chapter. Also next chapter has major warning for it. _


	3. Broken

_**WARNING: This Chapter has a very big warning for it. (see chapter one) you have been warned**_

_**Chapter Three - Broken**_

Madam Pomfrey opened the door and almost collided with Albus Dumbledore who had his ear to the door. Behind him stood the rest of the order and Weasley family.

"Poppy, what's happened?"

"I can't tell you that Albus. And before you interrupt me, I will not tell you what happened. But I will tell you this: if you ever send that boy to those muggles again, you'll have me to deal with. He's had enough to deal with without those pigs!" she said hissed with more unshed tears in her eyes. "Just a warning to you. In that room, there are four very angry people in there who look ready for a lynching; you're their lynchee. When they told you to leave him alone, I do believe they were deadly serious. Good day to you." She huffed and marched down the stairs ignoring the stunned looks and questions sent at her.

Harry groaned as he woke and sat up stretching the muscles that were cramped from laying in the same position for the last six hours.

"Harry?" Bill asked, "how are you feeling?" he had not left Harry's side since he had fallen asleep, quite determined to be there when Harry woke up.

"Like shit!" he exclaimed "and Bill, thank you for today. Get some shut eye, you didn't have to stay with me this whole time, but thanks."

Bill chuckled, "Harry, you're my little brother, I'd do anything for you, same as for Ginny, Ron, Charlie and the twins. I've got some pumpkin soup for you."

"I'm not hungry" Harry mumbled even as has stomach loudly announced other wise.

"Alright but you need to have a few mouthfuls at least. Poppy said you have to take these potions with some food and thought you might like pumpkin soup the best."

Harry obliged him by eating two spoons willingly and two more with some coercion before feeling incredibly sick. Bill handed him the smallest vial first and to Harry's relief it was an anti-nausea potion. He quickly downed the three other potions left for him and settled down again as he was pulled into the depths of a dreamless sleep.

When he woke next he kept his eyes shut feeling an incredible sense of calm and safety and snuggled further into the blankets.

"Wotcher Harry, just how long do you plan on faking sleep?" Harry sat up quickly at the voice and had his wand pointed at Tonks before the memories of the past few days came crashing into him. Tonks had her hands in the air and looked quite pale. She looked in Harry's cold eyes that seemed to turn almost a grey/ green before they darkened with pain. Behind him Charlie was chuckling.

"You're more paranoid than Mad-Eye Moody." He laughed outright.

Harry felt more claustrophobic than he had ever felt in his life. He scrambled up to the end of the bed with his legs pulled up to his chest in a gesture of protection. He couldn't breath, he scratched at his wrists with hands that were shaking so badly he wouldn't have been able to hold a glass of water without spilling its contents entirely.

Charlie got up slowly, ensuring he made no sudden movement and walked out of the room, as soon as he closed the door, he ran down to the kitchen.

"Bill!" he gasped as soon as he saw his older brother completely ignoring the rest of the order gathered there. "Har-" Bill was out the door and running up the stairs before Charlie had even finished the name. When he opened Harry's bedroom it was to see a shocked Tonks looking at Harry who was rocking backwards and forwards with his wand grasped in one violently shaking hand and his other gouging at his wrist that was now bleeding profusely. He looked back at Tonks.

"Go get madam Pomfrey! Run!"

"Harry? It's Bill, can you hear me kiddo? Your safe, I took you away from them, remember? It's okay now. Just breathe. Shhh, I wont let them hurt you again."

He looked up at the door when he heard sniffing from that direction in the doorway was Ginny, who had tears on her face, behind her Remus, Charlie, Albus and the rest of the Weasley clan, including Arthur who had just been about to leave for work. Ginny walked slowly over to Harry ignoring the hand Charlie had placed on her shoulder to stop her. When she reached him, she pulled out her wand and gently held his wrist. She cleaned away the blood and muttered "_episky_" repeatedly and slowly the wounds closed. Bill stared at his younger sister stunned at the calming effect she had on Harry. While Harry had calmed somewhat while Bill was speaking to him, the moment Ginny had touched him he had stopped panicking completely. When she had finished healing him and he was laying back, she waved her wand at the chair and it zoomed neatly behind her. She sat down and kept his hand in hers. She gently ran her other hand through his hair.

"I swore I wouldn't come here again. Get me out of here. Gin, I won't stay here!" he pleaded with her in a weak voice.

At this point madam Pomfrey rushed though the door. "What is the meaning of this?" she snapped at the still crowded doorway "Harry, can I see your arms?" Ginny lifted them up for her to inspect. "Did you heal this miss Weasley?" when Ginny nodded and told her the spell used, she complimented her, "excellent job, although episky wouldn't have been something that I would have used." She looked Ginny up and down appraisingly and said, "Have you ever thought of being a healer? To get these results with such a mild healing spell means you have exceptionally strong healing magic."

Ginny blushed, "yes madam Pomfrey that what it's what I was hoping to do when I finish school."

"Well miss Weasley, I have taken students on as apprentice healers before and if you, the headmaster and your parents agree, I would like to take you on at Hogwarts. You show amazing potential."

"I'd like that. Thank you." They both looked at the doorway, all three adults concerned nodded their consent.

Madam Pomfrey pulled out a pouch filled with potion vials and handed it to her. "These are all labelled. Give him three at first and then two blood-replenishing potions every hour for three hours and one strengthening potion with them. If he needs it give him a calming potion, but make sure he has one before he goes to sleep. There are also nutrition potions in there, give him one with every meal, no matter how little he eats. If he feels nauseated, this small purple vial will help. Floo me if there are any more difficulties. Any questions?"

Ginny looked through the vials and came upon three dreamless sleep potions. She held one up. "You didn't mention these. Can he have one?"

"Not tonight, but he may have one tomorrow if he wishes. But not for two nights straight. Good day miss Weasley." She looked pointedly at Dumbledore and said, "Let me know if anyone hassles him." She walked out.

Ginny pointed at the door. "Out! You heard her." She waited as every one except Bill left. She then turned to Harry who had fallen asleep and ran her hand through his hair to wake him. "Harry, you have to take this potion." She handed him the first vial and he frowned when he saw three others.

"Joy." He mumbled rolling his eyes.

He drank them all down and then got out of bed.

"What do you think you're doing?" Bill and Ginny asked simultaneously.

"Going for a shower, a very long, hot shower. I stink." He walked over to the bathroom attached to his room and pushed the door open.

He turned on the shower and sat down under water that was as hot as he could make it. He left the shower running and quietly opened the draws, in the bottom one he found an old fashioned shaving blade and went and sat in the shower again. He dragged it across his wrists pressing deep. Blood poured out of his wrists at an alarming rate and little black dots began to float across his vision.

_A/N: told ya so. Ok this is the last of the dark chapters. His summer picks up from here. Sort of. Maybe, haven't decided yet. Smiles innocently_.


	4. Chapter 4 discovery and reasons

_**Chapter four – Discovery and Reasons**_

"Harry?" Ginny called through the door and when he didn't answer Bill opened the door a fraction.

"Harry? It's Bill."

No reply

Bill walked in and nearly passed out at the sight before him. "Ginny!" he shouted panicked. "Harry?" he picked Harry up and ran out of the bathroom carrying him. He placed him on the bed and both he and Ginny began episky-ing him. The moment she had finished her wrist, she bandaged it tightly then took over Bills and instructed him to give Harry a blood replenishing potion and a dreamless sleep potion.

"I'm going to Floo madam Pomfrey and see what else I have to do." She said and walked out. Bill nodded at her back and sat down still in shock from how he had found Harry.

Ginny walked down the stairs and into the living room.

"Gin!"

"Ginny?"

"GINNY?" George shouted and shook her shoulders hard.

"Hmmm? Oh? Fred what's wrong?" the twins looked at each other shocked, never before had she mixed up their names.

"Um… Ginny, I'm George, not Fred. Are you okay?"

Ron spoke up, "Ginny, what's wrong with Harry? What'd he do now?"

Ginny ignored him and muttered "madam Pomfrey. Floo."

"Gin? I'm his best mate! He's my brother tell me what's wrong. Please"

Ginny looked up and noticed that no one had left yet. Her knees gave out and the twins grabbed her lowering her to the floor slowly. She was twisting her hands and looked down at them. Tears pouring down her face. She looked up with haunted eyes and began rocking as she said, "He said he was going for a shower. He was so long and when I called him he didn't answer. Bill found him. Ron, he…he…Ron, he tried to kill himself." Remus, Tonks and Charlie sprinted out of the room. Molly broke down completely and was being held by her husband who had tears on his cheeks. Albus Dumbledore sank to the sofa and covered his face with his hands. Ron sat down hard and burst into tears, Fred and George bowed their heads. The only one who wasn't crying was Severus Snape who had turned exceptionally pale.

Tonks, Remus, Bill and Charlie sat at Harry's bedside waiting for him to wake from the induced sleep Bill had not spoken until Tonks walked over to the potions pouch and pulled a calming draught which she placed at his lips for him to drink. Charlie spoke up first.

"He can't stay here."

Tonks sat down next to Remus who said, "I think I have the solution. Potter Manor, he's not set to inherit it until he turns seventeen, not just by our laws but family decree, however he is the head of the Potter family and there is nothing that say's he cant stay there. It's so heavily protected I thinks it's safer than Gringotts and Hogwarts combined. Potter manor is so old it dates back to before Hogwarts, from what James has said, it uses old blood magic. The grounds are able to detect any one that means any harm to the occupants of Potter manor. It will protect him. It is also under something similar to the fidelious, I know where it is because I've lived there before. I wont be able to enter it without Harry, but when he gets there, he will know the location instantly and be able to tell us all that we have permission to enter. The amazing thing about that is he'll have to either give you permanent permission or he can let you in the front door every time you come. I don't know how many time I've searched for those wards, but I'd be stuffed if I could find them." They sat looking at each other before and before any one could say any thing, Ginny opened the door.

"I think it's a good idea. I'm in. madam Pomfrey also suggested getting him out of here. Though if what you say is true, we have to wait for Harry to be well enough to travel."

"Ginny, what makes you think we'd let you come, no offence Sprite, but Harry doesn't need someone who's going to nag him. He needs peace and quiet to move on from all of this."

"Charlie, Harry is going to need someone who knows some of what he's dealing with."

"And that someone's you?" he asked sceptically.

"Well, unless you know any one else who has bee possessed by him, then yes, I mean me!"

Bill could see that shortly his siblings were going to start an all for nothing war against each other and decided that something needed to be done quickly to prevent it.

"Oi! Charlie, Ginny's right. As bloody usual." He smirked and quickly dodged the punch Ginny threw at him. "She'll be able to help calm him. Besides that we" he pointed to Tonks, Remus, Charlie and then stabbed his own chest with a finger "can't be there all the time, Ginny will be able to. However, we're counting on the fact that Dumbledore will let him leave. He's not likely to without a fight."

Ginny snorted "if it's a fight he wants I'll gladly bloody give it to him." She looked up at Harry who was starting to stir. "Harry James Potter! If you ever do something so incredibly stupid like that again, it won't be Voldemort you fear!"

Harry mumbled loud enough for them to hear "I take it I'm in hell then. And I don't fear Voldemort anyway."

Bill looked at him sadly and Remus asked, "why?"

Harry understood the question immediately. He pushed himself into a sitting position and said while looking at his bandaged wrists "because I deserve it."

Tonks looked shocked "why do you say that Harry? I'd say you're the last person who would deserve that!"

"Every one around me dies. Dad, Mum, Cedric, Sirius. If they don't die they get hurt Ron, Ginny, Hermione, Mr Weasley, Moody, Tonks, Kingsley. A Dementor, for merlins sake almost kissed Dudley."

Ginny jumped up off the chair and grabbed his chin forcing his face towards hers. His eyes however looked down avoiding her glare. "Repeat after me Potter, 'I am not responsible for the actions of those around me!'"

Harry's haunted eyes met hers and he dutifully recited, "I am not responsible for the actions of those around me." He then added in barely a whisper "I am however responsible for their deaths and therefore the world is a better place without me in it." Ginny released his chin as if she was burnt.

"Surely you don't believe that Harry?"

He glared at her defiantly before spitting "the only memory I have of my father is him yelling at my mother to take me and run. The only memory of my mother is her dropping me in my cradle and begging with Voldemort to spare my life while he just stood there and laughed before killing her. Cedric told me to take the cup, but I had to be a stupid Gryffindor and suggest we both take it; he was killed because he was 'the spare'. Sirius came to save me because I was so completely…so unbelievably…so unforgivably stupid to believe Voldemort."

Tonks stood up "Harry, Sirius died because he was being a wanker! If you want to boast do so after you win not during a duel. He knew that rule; all Aurors are taught that, given that he and your father were two of the best Aurors of their time, he should have known better. He ignored that rule! It is the main thing we are taught when we are training. He knew it and he ignored it. That is the reason he died Harry, it was not your fault but his. You do his memory a disservice by suggesting he died for nothing. He died for a cause he believed in. He died fighting, how he wanted to." She paused and added quietly, "He once told me that if he died, he wanted it to be during battle hopefully protecting you. He did."

"Harry you told Ginny you wanted to leave here is that still true?" Bill asked changing the subject.

"Please. I don't want to be here any more. I just thought that Dumbledore would make me stay."

Remus spoke up, "He doesn't get a say. He'll be told that you're leaving and if he agrees then good, if not you'll still be going."

"Where am I going?"

"We're going to Potter Manor."

Harry spat out the mouthful of water that he was just about to swallow and went into a coughing fit spraying more water out of his nose. "What? Where? How? I thought that was destroyed when…"

Tonks picked herself up off the floor while Charlie and Bill were wiping tears of laughter from their cheeks. Remus was sitting on the floor holding his sides while continuing to laugh.

Harry chuckled, "Tonks you're hopeless."

"I place all blame on the chair." She sniffed and waved her wand drying her wet robes and hair.

"Sure ya do Tonks! The chair just jumped in your way?" Ginny smirked. "Couldn't have been fire hose there could it?" she giggled pointing at Harry.

"It's not my fault she got in the way!" he said trying (and failing) not to laugh.

"It's at Godric's Hollow but it's not the cottage. You'll see when we get there but the manor is set quite a bit back, in fact even if the wards that hide it weren't there, you'd still have trouble finding it unless you knew where to look."


	5. Chapter 5Potter Vs Snape

_READMEREADMEREADME!_

Okay, before i start i would just like to say thankyou to my beta mcgonagalfan07. also from now i will be posting two-three time a week rather than five times a week as i have been uploading them faster than i am typing them and would like to be ahead. thankyou to those who have reviewed particulary LeprechaunJV who has given the most reviews and Bodrugan who alerted me to a formatting problem that was a major pain in the arse.

**_Chapter Five – Potter vs. Snape_**

A week after it was decided they would go to Godric's Hollow, they were still at Gimmauld place. Harry woke up and glanced over at the bed beside his. Although to do so was unnecessary as the snoring indicated that the bed was occupied and the occupant was sleeping. He sat up and cautiously swung his legs over the edge of the bed and stood up slowly. This would be the first time out of bed since his 'shower'. He crept to the door and closed it behind him gently before walking down to the kitchen. By the time he arrived there, he was feeling distinctly out of breath.

As those in the kitchen realized who were standing at the door silence descended until he felt someone smack the back of his head.

"Where is my dear brother? I would like to murder him for letting you out of your bed," came a sweet voice.

Charlie laughed, "The warden's on your back now, Potter. I'd get back into bed if I were you."

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Ginny poke her tongue at her brother and, using his seeker reflexes, he grabbed it before she could pull it back in her mouth, much to the amusement to those in the kitchen. Charlie, the twins and Ron looked on in awe; it took an incredibly brave (and stupid) person to do that to their sister.

"'E' 'o"

Harry smirked.

"Sorry Gin. Didn't quite catch that. What'd you say?"

He saw her hand twitch towards her wand and he snatched that up too.

"Now, that's not very nice is it?" He continued to hold on to her tongue while she shook her head.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you it's rude to poke your tongue at people?" Ginny glared at him silently.

"Miss Weasley, it would appear that the cat does indeed have your tongue," Dumbledore said in a consolatory voice from his seat. The room burst into laughter at the old man's joke. Bill walked in and after taking in the situation started laughing.

"Good job Harry, about time someone shut the warden up." He laughed as he took up a seat.

"'I' n' 'nun ell oo ees ood o ol umuns ung?"

Harry exploded with laughter and released her tongue.

"What the hell did you just say?"

She glared at him before saying, "Didn't anyone tell you it's rude to hold someone's tongue? Now can I have my wand back?"

"I may not be t he sharpest tool in the shed, but I'm not completely stupid. No you may not have your wand back." He looked down at Ginny's face, which showed no emotion but fury. Her eyes however, betrayed her as they were twinkling with laughter. Time seemed to slow as her face softened and she bit her bottom lip. He reached over and gently tugged the lip from between her teeth.

"You're not completely stupid? Well, you've certainly fooled me!"

Harry looked up quickly to see his potions professor standing at the entrance to the kitchen.

"Somehow Snape, I doubt this conversation had anything to do with you." Harry snapped.

"You will treat me with the respect I deserve Potter," the potions maste r growled.

Harry smirked.

"I thought I already was Professor." Harry had said "professor" as if it was the worst insult and Snape bristled immediately.

"Why you inso-"

"Yes I know, I'm an insolent, arrogant little turd who takes after his father so much that it's amazing I can lift my head off the ground. Heard it all before, remember? Multiple times. Every time we're in the same room." They were now standing toe to toe.

"At least you pay attention," He smirked evilly. "However, it seems that you don't pay attention to the things that really matt er. Woof, woof!"

Dumbledore stood up quickly, "Sev-" He was cut off by a loud crack as Harry knocked his professor to the floor with a right hook.

"Harry!"

"I already know his death is my fault, Snape. However at the moment we're not at school so let's get something straight. I am not my father; he has been dead for almost 15 years. It is time you realized that and stop taking your petty grudge out on me. It is time you acted your age rather than your shoe size. Grow up arsehole!"

Snape looked up and spat contemptuously.

"You know, I think Umbridge had the right idea about you!"

Harry rolled his eyes.

"Oh yes, sending a pair of Demeantors to give me a lovely little kiss, forcing students to cut their hand open time after time and then trying to use the cruciatus curse on me. Yes I can see how you would think that. Go tend your potions already."

Harry turned and walked over to the table and filled a glass of pumpkin juice. Then he filled a plate of food and returned to his room to eat his breakfast. When he was done he walked back downstairs and washed his plate.

"Harry!" Harry looked up and saw everyone still gathered around the table including one Severus Snape who looked to still be sulking. He smirked when he realized that there was a large bruise forming on the older man's jaw. No one had bothered to help the hated potions master out. Not even Dumbledore.

"Are your things pac ked?" Remus asked Harry.

"Well I was hoping we would be leaving soon, so every thing's ready to go. It has been for the last week."

"I'm packed, too." Tonks added.

"Yup," Charlie smirked at the look of shock on every ones faces.

"Same," Bill nodded before downing the rest of his juice.

"Ready to go, but when I find out who took my bra, you'll be very sorry!" Ginny stated glaring at the twins, who gulped.

Dumbledore spoke up. "Would you mind telling me you think you are going?"

"Someplace safe. We don't think that we're leaving, w e are leaving," Remus replied glaring at Dumbledore.

"My daughter is going no where," Mrs. Weasley stated.

"Actually I think you will find that I am going somewhere. Someone needs to make sure he gets three square meals a day and does nothing stupid. We all know how trouble follows him, so he'll need someone around who knows some healing. And if he eats what Bill and Charlie cook, he'll need serious help. Tonks and a kitchen, well, that's just begging for disaster." Tonks looked insulted before she nodded and mouthed, 'True.'

Bill added, "Mum, I'll look after her, so will Charlie, Remus and Tonks. Besides we all know that Harry would take a hit for any of us. We've got each other's backs. We're going to use this time to let Harry heal emotionally; but we'll also be training him."

"This place is the safest place on the planet. It will protect him and any one on the premises; however, the main protection wards will be attached to him. He doesn't even have to be in the house to have that protection." Remus said to Dumbledore and Mrs. Weasley.

"I'm afraid Harry can't leave." Dumbledore said.

Harry raised an eyebrow.

"And why would that be?"

"You don't have your guardians' permission to leave."

"My guardians lost that right when they…" he stopped suddenly.

"When they what?"

"None of your business. So who's my guardian now?"

Dumbledore sighed in a resigned manor.

"Since you refuse to return to your Aunt's house you don't have one. However Sirius' will states that he would like Remus to become your godfather. The ministry won't be happy with that, but due to your age, they'll allow it."

"Excellent. As it was his idea, I believe I already have his permission. Let's go." Harry jumped up.

Fifteen minutes later, they were all down stairs saying goodbyes and after Mrs. Weasley finally finished lecturing Ginny they were ready to go. Harry gave a final wave and touched the Portkey.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Chapter Six – Potter Manor**_

He felt an uncomfortable tug behind his navel. Seconds later, he slammed into the ground. He looked up when he heard laughing and saw Tonks barely standing through her fit of laughter.

"What?!" he snapped pulling himself up off the damp grass.

"Nothing Harry, it's just rich that I'm the only one standing."

The men all grumbled while Ginny flung her middle finger at the bubblegum-pink-haired witch.

After helping Ginny to her feet, he looked around, stunned. He looked upwards at a three-story building that made

him feel an overwhelming sense of safety. Remus noticed the look on his face.

"That's the wards," he said.

"I know," he commented. "I can hear them."

There was a loud crash as Bill and Charlie dropped the trunks they were holding. Bill scowled and asked waspishly, "What now?"

"Shush! What do you mean you can hear them," Charlie demanded.

"I just can…wait, can't you?"

"No," everyone answered simultaneously.

"Joy…" Harry mumbled.

Harry pushed open the door and walked into a room that had three black leather couches and a wooden table. As he walked further into the room, it lit up to reveal stone floors and walls. The walls were decorated with paintings of landscape.

Remus took his arm and turned him.

"This is only the entrance. Follow me." He led the others through a set of French doors and Harry saw the biggest fireplace he had ever seen.

"Lets get our stuff away, then I can show you around."

He led them up the stairs and on to the middle level said.

"Tonks, Charlie, Bill and Ginny will be staying on this level," Remus said.

As soon as he said her name Ginny took off inspecting the rooms. When she reached the farthest room on the right side she gave a squeal and declared, "This is my room," And Accio'ed her trunk to her.

"Ginny, I know the Minister has allowed stu dents to use magic while not at school, but that's only so they can protect themselves and not because they're too lazy," Charlie admonished with a chuckle.

Tonks, Charlie and Bill chose their rooms as Remus led Harry up to the next level.

"Only Potters and honorary Potters are granted access to this floor unless you are with them or up here. Even then, if you don't want someone to come up, the wards will recognize it and they won't be permitted to enter." Remus said in a quiet voice.

Harry looked at Remus bemused. "How would one become an honorary Potter?"

Remus flinched. When Harry found out, well, maybe someone fifty miles away wouldn't hear the explosion that was Harry's temper.

"I'll tell you later." He ran a weary hand through his hair. "This is your room; my room is right next door." Harry drew in a sharp breath when he saw the door at the end of the hall. Upon the polished mahogany door the name Sirius was carved elegantly.

Unshed tears pooled in his eyes and he quickly turned to face his door, which he gently pushed open. He walked in and after scanning the portraits on the walls he bolted from the room. He tore down the stairs and ran into the room Ginny had declared to be hers. He stopped suddenly shocked; there, in her underwear only, was Ginny.

"Oh! I'm so sorry, I'll just…"

He turned to walk back out but felt a warm soft hand on his arm.

"What's wrong Harry," she asked and Harry, despite the three lounge chairs and a bed sat on the floor and cried while shaking his head and stating repeatedly.

"Nothing...I'm fine…nothing…I'm fine…I'm fine…I'm fine." During his mantra the door opened gently and she flushed as her brothers, Remus and Tonks peered into the room. Ginny knelt next to him and wrapped her arms around him ignoring the others completely.

"Love," Harry tensed at the endearment. "Tell me what's2 0wrong please."

"Nothing…just being stupid." He scrubbed the tears from his face and stood up. "Um…I'll jus-"

"Harry, it can't be "nothing"." She led him over to the lounge and conjured a mug of hot chocolate for him. Harry snorted and conjured a glass of Firewhiskey, which he downed in one go before any one could stop him. He told her about the portraits and Sirius' room. He sat in silence for a while before he stood up and beckoned Ginny to follow him.

He reached his door and looked at her, noticing that she had yet to put clothing on. Her black satin lace bra and matching knickers were a starch contrast from her creamy white skin. She ducked her head while blushing at his scrutiny and he placed a finger under her chin to lift it. Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear he said quietly, "Don't blush Gin, you're beautiful." He froze as her lips brushed his and then slowly wrapped his arms around her waist. He nudged her bottom lip and she opened her mouth to deepen the kiss. They broke apart and Harry felt a surge of pride when he looked at her red, swollen lips.

"I want to show you something," Harry said taking his shirt off and handing it to her. "You might want to put this on."

He waited until the shirt was on her and smirked when he saw the black of her underwear peeping out the bottom of his shirt. He had to admit she was definitely a sight for sore eyes, so long as they were his eyes only. He pushed open the door and led her inside. Ginny gasped as she heard a bark like laugh.

"James, what is it with you Potters and red-heads," laughed a portrait that held a proud black-haired, blue-eyed man.

"Harry, is that-"

"Mum, Dad and Sirius? Yup."

She slapped his chest hard and, while trying to cover her self adequately squealed, "Great I get to meet your parents wearing only your t-shirt! Think I got any warning? No of course not! You prat!"

Harry laughed, picked her up and deposited her on a lounge. "You're wear ing knickers too, Gin. And you had no problem parading around in front of your brothers, Remus or Tonks did you now? And you didn't even have my shirt on." Harry paused for a minute before going pale.

"Harry?" Ginny enquired concerned.

"They're gonna kill me." He groaned. "You just had to have six older brothers didn't you? I'm living with two of them. Bloody hell." He pulled his wand out and transfigured his t-shirt into a black knee length dress. He looked up when he heard laughing and discovered that the many portraits were all chuckling. James and Sirius were laughing hysterically and Lily was tying to quite the room, though she too was giggling.

Ginny smirked. "You know Potter, you truly are a piece of work. As an iccle fistie, you first told Voldemort to fuck himself, you kicked troll arse, held onto a broom over a hundred feet in the air as it tried to kill you, and you nearly got eaten by a three headed dog christened Fluffy. Let's not mention Norbert now. At the age of twelve, you broke numerous laws, made polyjuice potion, let of fireworks in Snape's potions class- the twins thought you deserved a medal for that one- you drugged Dumb and Dumber, broke into the Slytherin common room, had all the bones removed from your arm by Lockhart. You nearly got pulverized by two rogue bludgers -by the way Charlie saw that and said you were bloody brilliant, reckons you're the best seeker Hogwarts has seen yet- you were bitten by a basilisk whist stabbing it thought the roof of it's mouth after pulling the sword of Godric Gryffindor out of a talking hat, had to help Lockhart answer his fan mail- I'd call that a form of torture- and then had Lockhart tried to remove your memories and leave you to old Voldemort. As a 13 year old, you stared down a werewolf, broke your godfather's nose, told Pettigrew you'd feed him to the Dementors, and fought off over a hundred Dementors at once. As a fourteen year old you out flew a Hungarian Horntail Dragon, threatened mer-people whilst at the bottom of the great lake, fought your way through a maze that had it's occupants imperio'ed to kill each other and you and duelled Voldemort again. Then after you were back and supposed to be safe you nearly get killed again by Crouch. Last year you spent what I'm sure equates to days being tortured because you were too stubborn to tell McGonagall, trashed Dumbledore's office, broke into the department of mysteries, fought Him yet again, trained an army and finally this morning you called Snape an arsehole that needs to grow up and act his age rather than his shoe size. Yet, you mention my brothers and you're ready to hide under a bed." She laughed, "Now that's courage." H arry jumped up and spun around when he heard a voice at the door.

"No, that's wisdom. You touch her Potter and you'll have me to deal with!" Harry's heart stopped at those familiar words. Even though they were said in a joking manor he couldn't help but panic when they brought a wave of memories crashing down on him. He scrambled backwards and fell over the coffee table that was behind him. In the distance he heard someone calling for Bill as he continued to scramble backwards. He was nearly in the lit fireplace when Bill pulled him roughly away. Harry cried out, "No don't, please, not that! Not that! I wont- don't- don't hurt me, don't do that! Please, I'll beha-"

"HARRY! It's only me. It's Bill. Shhh. Just breathe. That's it, in and out. In and out. No one's going to hurt you. Merlin I'm gonna kill those Durselys." Bill stated as he wrapped his arms around Harry who was clinging to him while Ginny coaxed him into drinking a vial of calming draught. An idea suddenly popped into Bill's head that made him feel sick to the stomach. _It wasn't the first time._


	7. Chapter 7 I'm so proud of you honey

I'm really sorry about the long wait. i've been seriously procrastinating because i don't like the chapter after this one and have been trying to change it. then i accidentally deleted it and had to redo it, although i doubt it's any better. so if you would like to skip chapter 8 until about half way through it. i won't bite!!

sofar i've written about up to chapter 14. i say about cos i'm not entirely sure. when i get stuck on a chapter i start writing the one ahead of it. so i've got about four half chapters. lol. i think im losing it.

**_Chapter Seven I'm so proud of you honey_**

_It wasn't the first time._

Apparently Tonks thought the same as she turned and tried to storm from the room. Remus grabbed her about the waist and pulled her to him.

"Hurting and killing the Durselys won't fix this. No matter how much pain we cause them, it won't take his away. In fact, you know it would only add to his guilt. Even if it would help him, he needs us all here not in Azkaban because we killed something that is about the equivalent of dragon shit," He told her in his best 'Professor' voice. (AN:Don't worry dursleys will cop it soon. Grins evily)

"Will someone please tell us what the bloody hell is going on," James yelled, exasperated. From what they could gather, the Durselys had hurt Harry; they had hurt him bad. They had no idea how much so.

Harry let go of Bill and stood quickly, his face hard as iron his eyes flashed dangerously at Remus who had opened his mouth to reply. "Nothing is going on."

Harry grabbed Ginny's hand and threaded his fingers though hers he let out a deep breath and said quietly, "Guys, um, could we, um, I'm ju-"

Ginny shook her head smiling gently and squeezed his hand reassuringly, "What he means to say in his extravagantly eloquent way is thank you, but piss off." Ginny glared at Charlie, who looked about to argue, and pulled her wand. "Or perhaps you would like your testicles reacquainted with your nostrils," she added.

Charlie looked at Bill and growled. "I can't believe you taught her that spell! And no thanks, Sprite. They still hurt from the last time," He said and walked out as quickly as he could while maintaining the little dignity he had left. The others quickly followed him.

Harry looked at Ginny and chucked quietly, "I can see why the twins fear you."

"Wow, you caught on quicker than Ron did. I'm so proud of you honey," she laughed, pinching his cheek.

Harry scowled and said, "A mountain troll could learn that faster than Ron. So that's not saying much."

He leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "I truly don't know what I'd do without you, but it wouldn't be fair to you Gin. I mean, you saw what just happened. And what about what happened last week? You deserve so much better…someone whole."

"Harry?" Lily called to her son.

"Yes mum?"

"When your father tried to break up with me to protect me, he was incredibly sore for weeks."

James mumbled something to Sirius who roared with laughter but quickly shut up at the glare Lily sent them both. Harry chuckled and turned back to Ginny.

"Harry, I spent five years trying to get you to realize that the seventh Weasley child was indeed female. I loved you the first time I saw you, I still do, and despite, what Ron says, it's not quite the way a sister loves her brother. I love the fact that no matter what happens to you, you still put others bef ore yourself. You're the least selfish person on this planet. If there were more people like you, we wouldn't be in this mess- no Harry, hear me through- you blame yourself for the deaths of those around you. Like I said last week, you are not responsible for the actions of those around you. I don't know what I'd do if you'd followed Sirius through the veil. If Remus hadn't stopped you, you'd never get to live, and I mean really live. Voldemort can piss off. But, if you lose hope, what hope do the rest of us have? You've had so much happen to you and though it tears you apart, you put on a brave face and bear it all as your burden. What you've seen, it would give me nightmares for years. You saw your parents, Cedric and Sirius all murdered. I heard Ron telling Mum that you saw some old guy die, then last year then you saw dad attacked. You're the strongest, bravest person I know. I don't know how you cope. How your Uncle could do that to you is any ones guess. But by doing what he did, and I know he did it more than once, he missed out on what a great person you are. He can't see what I see and for that I pity him."

"I'm not brave, Gin. I'm not strong and I don't cope with it. Dammit Ginny, I tried to kill myself! I tried to take the coward's way out!"

"And, as you know it was the coward's way out, we all forgive you for falling off the pedestal that the Wizarding world placed you on. Look, if it were me, I would have waited till I knew no one would find me. But Harry, you need to forgive yourself. Sirius' death is not your fault; he died cos he was being a dick. Yes, he came to the ministry to save you, but you went there to save him. Kreature, Lestrange and Voldemort set it up. I'm pretty sure nose-so-high-in-the-air-cos-his-arse-stinks-so-much-Malfoy senior was in on it too. What if he had truly been there and you blew it off as nothing? He would have been tortured to death! This way at least it was quick. Your heart was in the right place Harry. Older, more powerful, more experienced people have been screwed over by Tom. He screwed you over as well."

"Damn you're amazing. You know just what nails need hitting on the head." He reached over and placed a kiss on her lips and she deepened it before he could pull away, which he did after a minute murmuring "bloody portraits" with a chuckle.

He looked over to his parents' portraits and noticed that Lily and Sirius had moved into James' portrait. They were crying silently. He looked around the room, embarrassed, and noticed that all portraits had tears on their faces.

"Harry," he looked up to see who had called his name. His eyes landed on the second largest frame, under which was the name Godric Gryffindor.

Harry blinked a few times stunned before answering, "Sir?"

"Call me Godric, Harry. You truly did all she said before?" he enquired.

"Unfortunately, yes. However, I wouldn't change a thing-well except how many times I got busted. If it wasn't me it'd be someone else. I wouldn't wish that upon anyone."

Ginny looked at Harry stunned. "What do you mean you'd change how many times you got busted? You broke over a dozen laws and Dumbledore gave you a trophy for it! You blew up your Aunt and the Minister of Magic gave you full pardon cos the big bad murdering Sirius Black broke out of Azkaban to give his godson a hug! Every year we've won the House Cup! It's because you, Ron and Hermione found a more creative way to break more school rules and laws than you did the previous year. Are you nuts? Who cares about a few detentions wi th "Master Slime"? Hell, I'd stage it so I got caught!" James and Sirius broke into laughter as her tirade ended.

"Master Slime," enquired a portrait of a man who had long grey hair, a beard to rival Dumbledore's and blazing blue eyes that reminded Harry of someone.

Ginny nodded and blushed slightly. "Yes sir, he normally has lank, oily hair, but today he took that to a whole new level." She frowned for a moment trying to find the right words to describe it. "He looked as if he had dipped his head into a vat of cooking oil. He is the reason they created shampoo."

"Ginny, he is the reason they invented degreaser." Harry shook his head at his godfather and father's behavior as they fell onto the floor of their canvases hugging each other and crying from laughter.

An elderly female witch snapped, "Won't you two ever grow up?" Harry clenched his jaw in anger knowing that they never would.

He got up and walked out of the room, ignoring the many voices calling his name.


	8. Chapter 8

_Okay. I'm sorry it took so long for me to get this out and as it's taken so long, I've skipped having it betaread. While it really is no great excuse, I failed an exam at uni, and dad was convinced that it was my obsession with Harry Potter that caused it. So we've been arguing over that little topic. Finally he's given up the battle (Smart man) and we had a power surge that destroyed my mums computer. Luckily I saved it to my USB, which I lost. It is only by a miracle that I managed to save it to my laptop before I lost it. However, I did lose several chapters and so now I've got the sulks. I'm also really sick and as such, didn't realise how much time had passed between postings. You all have 'blue eyed snitch' to thank for bringing it to my attention. So enough of my ramblings and to reward you all for waiting so patiently (or not so patiently as may be the case) I am posting two chapters for you to read. Chapter 8 I'm not so happy with, but, meh, no matter what I do to it I can't seem to wrap my mind around it enough to sort it out. I would say skip it, but to those who have been bringing it up, it is finally starting to adress harry's tendancies to pretend it's all good even after something drastic happens. If you've read up to this part, Bugger off ;P you're waaaayyyyy too bored! Which says something for me having written it. __Frowns thoughtfully_

_**Chapter Eight - Merlin!**_

"You know, 'Rica never meant to offend you."

"Merlin!" Harry jumped a foot in the air and turned to see a portrait containing the Blue eyed wizard who chuckled and bowed.

"At you service. Though I gather you truly did not know my name?" Harry shook his head and the older man simply looked sad. "It is to be expected when one loses their family at so young an age. Your muggle family did not care for you as they should did they?" again Harry shook his head. "I suspected as such. Come, let's talk some more." He led Harry down the stairs to the second floor and into the library, Harry noticed that it was next to Ginny's room and took up a quarter of the second floor.

Harry gave a low whistle as he surveyed the vast number of books. It looked fit to rival that of Hogwarts. "Hermione will never want to leave this room when she sees it. She'll have a kneazle."

"Hermione is a good friend?" Merlin asked as Harry sat down next to the fireplace.

"Yeah, she's the brightest witch I know. Ron, well, he's Ron. He's excellent at chess, Quidditch, completely loyal and in love with Hermione since we saved her from the troll. He's my best mate and I definitely would have gone mad without him. He was the first friend I ever had, I mean we copy each others homework, gang up on Malfoy and his goons, play chess, play Quidditch, whinge about unfair professors, sleep in history of magic. We do everything together. His family has been my family since I met them; it really surprised me you know? They took me for me and not Boy Hero! Famous for not dying when he should have multiple times. I am just Harry when I'm with them, without the weight of the world on my shoulders."

"It has been long since I had a friend such as that." Merlin said wistfully before changing the subject. "So tell me, what do you know about your parents? About your family history?"

Harry thought for a while before saying: "I look like my father with the exception of my eyes, I got them from mum. My dad played chaser for Gryffindor he hated Snape yet still saved his life. My mum stood up for Snape even when the prick didn't deserve it. They died to protect me. That's all. Oh wait and I know that I'm related to Sirius because he and dad both being pure bloods are related. Though, I pretty much figured that out just then."

"Godric is my great-grandson and he is your great-great-great-great-grandfather. He married Rowena Ravenclaw the year after Hogwarts opened it's doors. The day before they were to sit for their portrait, Rowena was hit by a stray curse. She died an hour later. Before that however, they had two children Tarica and Roran. Tarica married Wulfric Dumbledore and Roran married Elizabeth Cray. Tarica passed during childbirth. She had one son whom she named after her husbands father, Brian who had two children: Albus and Aberforthe they each married and had one child whom they named Percival and Richard. Roran and Elizabeth had six children: Frieda, Michael, Harold, James, Katarina and Walter. Frieda never married, Harold married Luciana Longbottom. James married a muggle and both died shortly afterwards. Katarina married Scorpius Malfoy. Walter married Araminta Meliflua; he was a very famous Auror. Michael (also an Auror) married Elladora Smith and they had two sons- James and Harold. They were swimming down at the lake one afternoon and young Harold swam out too far. James swam out to help him and drowned in the process. Harold married Martha Black and they had one child whom he named after his deceased brother. James married one Lily Evans and they had you. They refused to call you Harold so it was shortened to Harry. That is the name on your birth certificate."

"I'm related to Malfoy. That-eeewwwwwwww- that is beyond gross. I thought Dumbledore has a brother?"

"He does, Aberforthe's son Richard married and had three children Albus, Aberforthe and Arianna."

"Oh, how do you remember all that?"

"I've had many a year to read." He chuckled.

"Wait, how come there are so few… so few…" he struggled trying to find the right words.

"why there are so few generations between yourself and Godric?" Harry nodded. "The average witch or wizard tends to live almost two and a half to three times that of an average wizard. Someone's coming."

"If you're looking for me, I'm over here!" Harry called while thinking, 'so that was how Dumbledore was so old.'

"I must remember to tell Hermione you voluntarily entered a library."

"I'm having a family history lesson. Did you know I'm related to the Malfoy's and Dumbledore?"

"Nope, although I take I Malfoy's a bite in the arse?" Bill sat down opposite Harry.

"Oh yeah, thank god we didn't grow up together. So what's up?"

"Remus asked me to give you this. It's your timetable."

"Timetable?" Harry stared at Bill blankly.

"Yup. We were serious when we said we'd train you. As today's Sunday you'll start tomorrow."

Harry looked at the timetable and groaned when he realised it would be a five thirty wakeup. The timetable read as such:

Monday, Wednesday, Friday

**0600** Run

**0800** Breakfast

**0900 ** Occlumency / Legilimency

**1200** Lunch

**1300** Auror Boot Camp

**1600 ** Duelling

**1800** Dinner

**1900** Fencing

Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday

**0600** Run

**0800** Breakfast

**0900** Aparation

**1200 ** Lunch

**1300** Transfiguration

**1600** Charms

**1800** Dinner

**1900** Potions

"You have the same person at the same time every day. For example, at 0900 hours I will teach you either Occlumency/Legilimency or Aparation. At 1900 hours, Remus will teach you fencing or potions. On those nights where Remus' furry little friend comes out to play, those lovely portraits will tutor you in your room."

"Oh, right. Um Bill?"

"Yeah?"

"What's fencing?"

"You'll learn to fight with a sword Harry."

Harry snorted "fat lot of help that will get me As if I'd get close enough to hit Voldemort with a sword in the first place."

"Maybe not, but it will help improve your stamina and balance as well."

Harry and Bill stood to leave when Merlin spoke again " 'Rica really never meant to upset you."

"I know it's just…"

"While you're head knows they're dead, your heart begs something entirely different."

"It's not so hard with my parents, I didn't know them, but I knew Sirius and no matter what any one says otherwise, I'll always blame myself on some level. It's like, I cant help but pretend it didn't happen in the hope that if I pretend long enough, I'll wake up and have him back."

"Harry-"

"I know." was his reply to the unfinished statement.

After exploring the house and talking some more to the portraits in his room, Harry crawled into bed exhausted; both physically (hey it was a big house!) and emotionally.


	9. Chapter 9

AN: I would just like to make my self clear right now… Just because Harry is related to merlin in my fic does not necessarily mean he will have some amazing super powers. He will simply be trained in a way that would help improve his chances of survival. I've only read two or three fics where the super man thing actually works and I don't particularly have the patience to battle the bloody nuisance up hill. (not talking about this story being a nuisance, but if I tried to do that, it would be at this point of time.) He will not suddenly become god like. Maybe another time and fic. And another thing, Ginny is not being overly assertive, she is only playing in a way that still says I will do it if you drive me nuts too much. Grow up with SIX older brothers and you'll quickly learn to act accordingly. As it is I have three younger brothers and they all gang up on me. I'm closest to my younger bro, but the othe 2 drive me nuts!!

_**Chapter Nine – Training**_

"Concentrate Harry. Picture walls locking in your thoughts and memories. Sort of like an old castle. You have the wards, the moat, the outer wall, inner wall then the dwellings."

Harry closed his eyes and pictured exactly that. He was surprised to find that when Bill muttered "legilimens" he held out for longer than he had before.

"That's it. I see you like that castle idea. It's what I use. However, try removing the gate and line the walls with metal. Legiliemens"

At the end of the lesson Harry was exhausted and almost crawled down the stairs to the kitchen where he was handed a revitalising potion. He ate lunch slowly savouring the roast chicken and salad that he was surprised to find apple in. At one o'clock Harry got up and followed Tonks down stairs to the basement and into the training room he had sprinted around that morning.

Tonks stood in the middle of the room and said, "the best defence against a spell one can have is not to be there when it lands. If your opponent is more powerful than you they can tear your shields apart like paper. So today you get to practice dodging. This is where your Quidditch reflexes will come into play because although there will be no unforgivable's now, what happens when they are involved?" Without warning she began rapidly firing spells at him. Most of which hit before he could recover from his shock.

When the lesson was over Harry sat on the floor scowling and covered in red paint. Charlie walked in and chuckled, "I'm surprised you're still in one piece Potter." He paused and looked away for a moment. "Well, come on get up. I'll be duelling with you, putting the skills Tonks teaches you to use. As you improve we'll add more people. So that eventually you'll be duelling with all five of us. Can you tell me why you're being trained the way you are?"

"Um, to kill Voldemort?"

"Strong body, strong mind, stronger magic. To kill you-know-who yes, but to also give you the best chance of survival. It won't be easy, but it will be possible and believe it or not, to a lot of people, if you were to die, then many people would mourn you, not The-Boy-Who-Lived, but you, Harry James Potter. Now remember, an opponent can strike at any time and if it is to his advantage, he will do so. Remember Moody's 'Constant vigi-" he stopped suddenly, flinging curses at Harry who dodged most of them and for those he was unable to dodge he cast shield charms. An hour later Harry was laying on the floor too exhausted to move.

"Get up Harry."

"No!"

"Harry."

"Bugger off Charlie. Every inch of me is covered in bruises. I've already dislocated my shoulder once today. We've been doing this for a bloody hour now. GIVE IT A REST ALREADY."

"Go wash up Harry, I'll send Ginny up."

Harry stood up slowly and sat back down with dizziness. "You know what? I'm good here."

Charlie walked over and lifted Harry up. "Come on, you can't stay here and you'll never make it up those stairs on your own. After what felt like a decade Harry was finally laid on the sofa in his room. He was left to himself for a short while when Ginny stormed in.

"Strip!"

Harry cried out in surprise and pain as he fell of the sofa with shock. He winced as Ginny levitated him onto the sofa. Futilely he tried to cover himself up as Ginny vanished his clothing leaving him only in boxers.

"Dear Merlin!" she growled. "And Charlie thought you were being a hypochondriac! She pulled out a jar of bruise banish and slowly massaged it into the shoulder he had dislocated earlier; it was a deep purple that in some places looked black. The rest of him hadn't fared much better. When he was bruise free, she tied his arm to his waist to prevent it from being used.

"I'll tell Remus no fencing tonight. Get some rest." With that she kissed him on the lips and said, "I'll come get you for dinner. Right now, I have to beat up Tonks and shithead." With that Ginny walked out of the room mumbling that if they expected to beat him up like this in the future, she would definitely have multiple words to say on the matter. Harry was beginning to wonder if it was perhaps Madam Pomfrey using polyjuice.

Harry settled down on the sofa and drifted off into a fitful sleep. He sat up with a shout aiming his wand at Bill whom had been trying to coerce him into wakefulness.

"You okay kiddo?"

"Fine. What's up?"

"Dinner's ready, are you gonna drag your lazy arse off that chair and come down or shall I have my Little Miss bring it up for you."

They both jumped slightly as Ginny snarled from the doorway, "call me that again bill, and Voldemort shall seem like a house trained puppy!" Harry smirked thinking that if he so chose to chose to call her that, he would very likely get away with it. Ginny however seemed to know his trail of thought and looking at him and said in a tone that made Harry think her definitely more dangerous than Voldemort "if you take it upon yourself to call me that, I will castrate you in the most painful way possible, whist using a spell that ensured you remain conscious. Am I clear Mr Potter?" she was trying to glare but her trying not to laugh at the shock on his face was ruining the effect entirely.

"Crystal Miss Weasley . Any thing else I need to know or do?"

"Yes, shut up and kiss me."

Harry chuckled and gave her a peck on the lips. He was still not entirely comfortable with public displays of affection. Having Bill in the room certainly classified as public.

"what do you call that??" she spluttered indignantly .

"an audience appropriate response to your demand, Madam." he said looking pointedly at Bill who was looking relieved at not having to see his sister snog anyone.

"Oh come down to dinner you prat."

Harry and the two Weasleys made their way down to the kitchen and ate dinner, Harry with much difficulty as he still had his arm tied to his waist.

"Gin, take it off." he whined for the millionth time since sitting down.

"NO! when I healed it the first time, I told you to be careful. You weren't and I had to heal it again. So you'll let it heal fully and I'll take it off for you tomorrow."

Harry looked down at the steak on his plate shrugged his shoulders as much as he was able to and picked the steak up eating it using only his fingers and his mouth. The men at the table chuckled and ginny rolled her eyes.


	10. Chapter 10 dreams

_**Chapter ten: Dreams. (A week later)**_

Harry sat up and let out a hoarse scream as he woke up covered in sweat. Tonight's dream had been particularly vivid. Well, they always were as he was normally reviewing memories, tonight's dream couldn't have been more different. He got up and walked past his parents questioning portraits ignoring them as he focused on putting one foot in front of the other. He walked into the bathroom and washed his face. He stared into the mirror hearing the word in his dream echoing in the silence.

"You killed me Harry. Your parents died to save you and to repay them, you kill their best friend, your Godfather. They are so disappointed in you. Those portraits they don't know you , the haven't watched you for the last fifteen years. You're nothing! Weasley was wrong, no one would mourn you, they'd mourn nothing but a scarred tool. Join us Harry, doing so would make everyone happy. It would fix everything."

"I'm so sorry. Please, Sirius, please, forgive me." he said aloud he looked down and was only slightly surprised to find a small knife in his hand. Where it came from, he didn't know; he didn't care. Taking a breath, he pressed down hesitantly and began dragging it across his wrist. He gasped as an image was forced into his mind of a sobbing Ginny sitting by his grave. Looking at the small incision with disgust, he threw the blade in the bin and walked into his room. He was startled to see Remus sitting on the sofa.

"what are you doing in here?" 

Remus ignored his question and instead eyed his wrist. He looked up at Harry with a raised eyebrow. Harry looked at Remus guiltily.

"I…Sorry."

"For what Harry?"

"I couldn't do it."

"That would be a good thing" he moved over slightly and motioned for Harry to sit. "Why were you going to do it?"

"Nightmare I guess."

"You guess? And nightmares Harry? Melins balls!" 

"Hey!" the portrait called out.

Remus continued "everyone has nightmares Harry. And if you are going to kill yourself at least have a solid reason as to why, it's not as if you can undo it."

"You don't understand!"

"So tell me!"

"It's complicated."

"We've got all night."

Slowly and haltingly at first, he told Remus about the dream and what Sirus had said. When he had finished his tale, Remus sat silently while Harry fidgeted. It was only when Harry had stopped fidgeting that Remus spoke again.

"What stopped you?"

"I don't know, it's weird. It's like someone ripped away my shields and planted an image there."

"Of what."

"I saw Ginny sitting by a grave, my grave."

They sat in silence until Harry suddenly burst out, "why the fuck can't I just be a normal, happy teenager?! What did I do wrong?"

"It's not who you were meant to be. I am a strong believer of fate Harry. It has nothing to do with any wrongs committed; if so you would lead the most blessed life possible. As would your parents and Sirius."

Harry looked up at him sceptically. "Are you saying that you were meant to be a werewolf?"

"As much as I hate my lycanthropy, I would like to think that it has made me a better, stronger, kinder person than I would have been otherwise"

"Oh," 

Remus sighed, "Harry, you need to talk to us. I don't care if it's Ginny or Bill or whoever, but you need to talk to one of us if you ever feel like doing this again."

Harry nodded and allowed himself to be squeezed in a tight hug before climbing into bed. 

AN: sorry guys I know, I know, I need to update more consistently. Plus it's really short only 655 words jeeze!!. I've been having a lot of trouble writing at the moment. Sigh. Also Harry won't find out about being an honorary Potter until much later for those who have been asking. But you all love me cos now Harry's finally starting to heal. 

I'm on a 3 wk holiday at the moment so I'll try race though a couple of chapters. 

I think the problem is that my imagination has come up with another story for me. I actually had to write some of it out to wrap my head around this one. I might publish it at a later time if I finish it but for now I can think. jumping up and down with excitement


	11. Sorry guys

HI Guys! After monday I'll return to the world of fanfiction. I'm sorry I took so long and I really should have let you know that I'd be away for a while. The reason I was away for so long was because I failed part of my uni course because I was so caught up with it (fanfiction) so I had to repeat that subject- which giant smelly donkey balls :) So again, I'm really sorry and try to update as soon as I can after my exam on monday.

By the way... I am thinking of changing my name to EmeraldIre (maybe) What do you think? yes, no or just dont care.


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